Controlled male orgasm

topic posted Sun, April 25, 2004 - 12:53 PM by 
Have any of you guys out there learned how to control your orgasms? There are different techniques (Tantric methods seem best known) that men can use to have orgasm without ejaculation and have multiple orgasms. There is a popular book called the Multi-Orgasmic Man (I think) that covers some of these techniques.

Continual practice of specific exercises allows men to better control their orgasm and ejaculation. I have a few different books on the subject, but in my usual ADD fashion I only partially finished some of them (I like to read several books at once) before starting several other books. I did start practicing some of these exercises a few years ago, but haven't been very consistent. I hope to get back into this practice diligently in the near future.

With my limited practice I haven't reached the coveted goal of complete separation of orgasm from ejaculation, but have been able to greatly prolong my orgasm. Not only is my orgasm prolonged, but often times it will come in mini-waves that each last several seconds each.

Controlled orgasms not only allow longer and more frequent sex but can also help the man conserve his jing or sexual essence, avoiding a drain on his energy or constitution.

So, does anyone else have some experience and knowledge to share in this area?
posted by:
  • Re: Controlled male orgasm

    Sun, April 25, 2004 - 1:39 PM
    my last lover could essentially come whenever he wanted, he had almost total control over his timing. he told me it was a Taoist thing, but I have not investigated it a great deal.
  • I've been doing this since about 1988, and teach same - I learned from Mantak Chia, one of the authors of the "multi-orgasmic male". I'm afraid I don't recommend that book,w I think Master Chia's previous book "Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy" is better although like most of Master Chia's it is incredibly detailed and somewhat overwhelming. None of the other books I've read give you sufficient information to actually do the practices.

    I think the greatest single benefit for a guy is that most guys are totally goal oriented about getting to "the squirt", so they miss out on most of the pleasure that happens prior to the squirt. Once you no longer have the goal of ejaculating, you can really "take time and smell the roses" - appreciating ever detail and aspect of pleasure associated with sensual contact. My experience (and the reports of my students) is that being present in the moment during sex will make your partner much much much much much happer too.

    If you want to do the techniques with a partner, it requires a lot of communication, and as far as I can tell that is the hardest part. You need the upfront overt agreement from your partner to do the practices, otherwise they will be wondering why you want to take breaks "right at the best part", or do a lot of 'huffing and puffing'. They could also freak out if you start having a lot of involuntary movement, or wonder where you went if you become one with the cosmos and are "gone" for 10 or 15 minutes. If your partner isn't interested in the practices you have to be careful about balancing the energy between the two of you before you separate. The techniques seem to be really easy for women to learn, if they are interested.

    You can win twice with the practices - first with your attention off "getting to the goal" you will have the *opportunity* to experience a hundred times greater pleasure from what you are already doing - and I chose the number "one hundred" deliberately. Second, the experiences from doing the techniques at least feel "good", with practice they become transcendental. I especially enjoy the experiences of becoming one body / one being / one with my partner.

    There is a lot of theoretical information about why the practices are so good for you - maybe thats all true, maybe its not. It does take time to learn, you have to practice, its really fun. How bad can something be where you have to practice masturbating or sexing? Pass the lubricant...

    I'd be happy to answer specific questions.

    ps: Tony, my girlfriend pointed out to me that it sounds like you *are* having orgasms without ejaculating, you just don't think that what you have "counts". "A sudden spike in sensation followed by a rapid drop off, typically accompanies by 6 to 9 sharp contractions" is only one type of orgasm.
    • Unsu...
      I have had many years of experience with this as well though George has said alot to explain it. I didn't find it that hard to learn once I realized that the enjoyment from having it last very much outweighs the enjoyment of rushing to the goal.For me their is a wonderful energy that can be developed through saving seed rather than releasing it. I used to go up to two months between ejacualations while continuing an active sex life. These days i am seeking moderation which generally means once a week or so in order to balance myself. i like to wait till I am hungry before indulging. The important thing for me is that during sex if I don't worry about the goal then the whole experience becomes more enjoyable. I can always ejaculate pretty much any time during sex so i choose my moment, sometimes i do, sometimes i don't depending on my and my partners mood.
  • Unsu...

    Re: Controlled male orgasm

    Mon, May 17, 2004 - 1:58 PM
    >>> "I haven't reached. . . separation of orgasm from ejaculation"

    I don't consider it a "separation". It's more like I have the orgasm but supress, or hold in, the ejaculation. Strengthening your kegels helps. The problem is that the only time we voluntarily contract/relax our kegels is when we move our bowels. Because of this, they're fairly weak. When you have an orgasm, your kegels contract and relax with no real degree or intention, and there goes the load. I've been able to come without ejaculating by contracting my kegels intensely leading up to the begining of my orgasm and keep them contracted throughout the entire orgasm. I wasn't able to do this until I'd exercised them for about 3-4 weeks. Now I don't even DO kegel exercises anymore. A healthy sex regiment keeps them strong enough to maintain voluntary control and an understanding partner is important too =^]
    • orgasm separate from ejaculation

      Mon, May 17, 2004 - 5:36 PM
      Dub, your post brings two points to mind, thank you for the springboard. This is stuff I tell myself and my students over and over again.

      First, the experience males have of orgasm associated with ejaculation - involuntary prostate contractions [masters & johnson said avg. 6~9 contractions for a male], intense wave(s) of feeling followed by rapid detumescence - is a wonderful experience. And it is not the only "flavor" or "type" of orgasm, and its certainly not the only kind that counts.

      F'r instance, you can have innumerable involuntary prostate contractions (which feel great) without ejaculation, and
      you can have waves of feeling unassociated with contractions. And to be complete, you can have lots of fluid come out without any particular sensation.

      My experience has been that most folks are on the lookout for only the one kind of Masters & Johnson "up and over the edge" type of orgasm, so they miss out on a lot of other opportunities for the same or greater pleasurable sensation. I was like that for years and years. And years. I'd like to suggest an open mind while sexing, and being eagle-eyed for pleasurable sensations - there are a lot of experiences that come in unexpected shapes and sizes and at different times - not just at "the end". A fun part is later, trying to decide what an orgasm is, and how many there were.

      At this stage in my practice I mostly consider contractions to be a warning sign that I'm getting too close, so I back off and relax and enjoy them until they stop, then I might communicate with my partner that I'm going to inhale and "draw" the energy up ["draw the golden nectar up to the flower" aka "the big draw"], which results in an experience very much like a short wonderful drug trip - the fireworks part is between 25 to ?300? seconds long, and then there is usually a wonderful bouyant sense of well being as you come down. When I exhale, I exhale into her and she "draws" the combination of our sexual energies up into her, having her own orgasmic experience. But ... but ... this too is only one kind of orgasm - there are many others.

      Second, I wanted to mention that it is possible to "in-jaculate" where you first get your body to start pumping sperm and seminal fluid, and then block the outlet - there is a "three finger" technique where you press on the "million dollar point" just below your pubic bone, or some folks squeeze hard on the glans penis.

      If you "in-jaculate" most of the fluid winds up in your bladder, and/or just drips out of your plumbing over the next several hours. The easiest way to tell is to check when you pee - into a clean toilet or a clean glass. A clean glass is the easiest until you know what you are looking for. As far as I know there are no benefits from in-jaculating and some possible downsides. Basically what happened was you went a little bit too far and should have stopped sooner.

      apropos of nothing, I find that after sexing without ejaculating it helps for me to spend 2 or 3 minutes thoroughly massaging my crotch - all my erectile tissue - perinium, penis, all under my public hair, = and then to very gently - did I say gently? massage your testes and vas deferens - the tubes that connect the testes to your urethra. gently. If I don't massage its 50/50 that I'll get "blue balls", if I do massage its 90% that I won't get blue balls, and 10% that it will be a minor issue.

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